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| Scorpion out on the town with one of his lady companions, Halle Berry. |
S.I.; It seems pitchball is definitely the coming sport.
Caine; Absolutely. I've seen kids play it all over the country. In the professional ranks, our crowds have become enormous.
S.I.; How does that translate into money for you professionals?
Caine; [Smiling] It translates pretty well. The tournament purses have grown to four times what they were a few years
ago and the endorsements are coming in. Two days ago I did a spot for Ford. John Neom and I recently did a funny little commercial
for Post Cereals.
S.I.; Is that the commercial where you two are matching each other pitch for pitch with each subsequent pitch becoming
more and more incredible?
Caine; You've seen it? I didn't think that was going to be used for another month.
S.I. I saw it a day or two ago.
Caine: What did you think?
S.I.; Very amusing. You guys really showed your abilities to do comedic acting.
Caine; Funny you should say that. Spielberg recently asked me if I would do a cameo in a film project he's got under way.
S.I.; You and Steven Spielberg are friends?
Caine; Yes. He came out to the Los Angeles Pitchball Open last year and introduced himself. We chatted for a while during
a rain delay. I gave him some ideas concerning cinematography, script ideas, and so forth. He was very receptive. During the
off-season Steve wants me to jot a few things down and have a meeting. As it is, I only had time to do a film cameo.
S.I.; Let's get back to pitchball. How long do you think you can play the game at a high level?
Caine; Well, it is a very intense, stressful game. It's like constantly having to kick the winning field goal in the Super
Bowl with five seconds on the clock, or hitting the five foot putt on the final hole to win golfing's Masters. Not everyone
can handle it. And the training is rigorous to say the least. For example, I do three sets of ten bench press reps using 250
pounds. I do curls with 175 pounds. That's just two of the twelve lifts I do. Then I do about five miles of road work six
days a week. Anyway, I figure I have another ten years in pitchball if I'm lucky.
S.I.; What then?
Caine; Well, like I said, I could get into the movie industry. Also I have a multi-million dollar medical research laboratory
in my basement that I dabble in. I've been trying to find cures for various cancer types. And I submitted my covid-19 vaccine
research to laboratories.
S.I.; I had no idea you did medical research.
Caine; I've always played around with microscopes, test tubes, and Petri dishes. I find such work fascinating.
S.I.; That's truly incredible. I did not know you contributed research to the covid-19 vaccine.
Caine; To be honest, the general concept of the covid-19 vaccines is mine. My financial adviser said I could have made
500 million dollars but I decided to contributed the research for free, anonymously. I am not a greedy or boastful person.
I simply believe a person has to do his part for humanity.
S.I.; Let's change subjects. Does professional pitchball have a drug testing plan?
Caine; Absolutely. It's the best in any sport. And it's very comprehensive. Sports that test for performance enhancing
drugs usually just use a urine test. Professional pitchball tests both the urine and feces for drugs.
S.I.; I've never heard of testing a person's feces.
Caine; That's because other sports are still not doing everything they can do to detect performance enhancing drugs. Professional
pitchball is.
S.I.; When you are not competing you always seem to be with some glamorous, beautiful woman. Is it difficult for you to
balance your rather steamy private life with the rigors of pitchball?
Caine; Well, like just about all professional pitchballers, I'm in top physical condition. Believe me, that helps, especially
given that I'm in my mid 50s. Nevertheless pitchball has to come first over other desires and urges. It's the type of sport
where if you don't give it sufficient time you won't last on the tour long. Most of the romantic interests I have in my life,
Tyra Banks, Uma Thurman, whomever, realize that they have to come second. They allow me to fit them into my schedule when
it is convenient for me. I'm not disrespecting anyone. It's just the way things have to be for the professional pitchballer.
S.I.; Do you mind if we include some paparazzi photos of you with some of your lady friends?
Caine; No, I guess not as long as you use some discretion.
S.I.; I want to thank you for your time. You have been very forthcoming and our readers thank you.
Caine; My pleasure.
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| Caine works out rigorously, like most top level pro pitchballers. |
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| Scorpion Caine and actress Julie Delpy, at the annual Anti-Pediculosis Society fundraiser in Boston. |
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| Ashanti and Caine at the American Priapism Prevention Fundraiser. |
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| Max "Scorpion" Caine and actress Kylie Bax, relaxing together. |
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| Caine with yet another lady companion, Natalie Portman, following a Vogue Magazine interview. |
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| Women invariably try to enchant Caine. Deborah Norville shows she is no exception. |
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| Scorpion Caine with ravishing armpiece, talking to Access Hollywood about future film projects. |
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| Scorpion Caine with lovely actress Heather Graham, attending a pitchball tournament party. |
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| Dapper Max "Scorpion" Caine with Italian model Monica Bellucci, at Pitchball awards banquet |
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